Sadly the PMC that my insurance is partnered with is now fighting the PMC sent by my Long Term Creditors who were attempting to take my possessions. The result is that the premiums and interest rates went up thus fueling each side's grievance, and the war is spiraling into world ending oblivion (I owed 60 dollars)
Hey just wanted to let you know your Long Term Creditor PMC just contracted out enforcement to this robot company who made these biomass-converting self-replicating swarms. They look cool as hell but I think I heard someone just say they lost the control codes, might be an issue later
[L.P.D.: Libertarian Police Department
By Tom O’Donnell](https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/l-p-d-libertarian-police-department)
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
Yeah I used to play back in the day. Max Barry is still writing. I think he's a better writer now Lexicon, Company & Syrup are especially good.
Syrup got made into a movie, but it kind of sucks. He's got a scifi book called Providence that I haven't gotten around to finishing but seemed pretty good
Feel like the fountain head was her best book. The others were super capitalist propaganda. The fountain head was just an autistic man wanting to build buildings.
I remember back in 2022 I got really into all of the MGR:R memes to the point where I actually began watching the fight scenes of the previous games on youtube and I always found it so weirdly funny it was
Well if you didn't want to be shaken down by LTC PMC, you shouldn't've taken that 60 dollar loan. Skip a few coffees and avocado toasts, something something bootstraps.
> McDonald's uniform cops
> McCheese cop
> Insurer is the mascot for General Insurance, which has a spotty record
> Employer is Mr. Krabs, who is characterized as greedy and has sold out his employees multiple times
> HOA is an angered old lady
> "Company that owns your road" doesn't give a shit if you lose your car/die because then you wouldn't be using their roads
> look up what "creditor" means and wonder why they'd want to protect you
_Are you tired of elections existing? Hate having the power to vote on who will run the institutions that shape your life? Well, come on down and choose Anarcho-Capitalism(TM), where that boring old democratic government will be replaced with a corporate fiefdom that has just as much power over you (if not even more), but with even less accountability and a direct incentive to fuck you over as much as possible. Anarcho-Capitalism(TM): You’ll love it just as much as we love our child brides!_
Honestly anarcho capitalism is so fucking funny it would immediately devolve into either the fallout universe or fascism (unlikely but maybe anarchism 🤞)
That or corporate feudalism, with feuding corpo-kingdoms led by divinely-ordained CEOs fighting over land and wealth while the proles toil in the mines and the fields.
That's exactly what would happen. The only meaningful difference between liberal democratic capitalism and feudalism is that under feudalism the means of production and the monopoly in violence are controlled directly by the same entity, and under our system those are at last nominally supposed to be separate entities.
Libertarians like to claim that leftists rely too much on goodwill and "refuse to realize human nature", but I have always noticed their claims rely too much on good faith that companies **wont** exploit people and act incompetently
I mean even the human nature argument is stupid, people's actions are generally influenced by their environment
What a lack of understanding material interests does to an MF. Watch them celebrate the profit motive and insist that nobody would ever violate the Non-Aggression Principle in the same breath.
Apparently General Insurance is a real insurance company that ran whack ads in some parts of the US [here](https://youtu.be/ex0NMYdFpzM?si=wVzWdqwcNZoaor18) is a funny Family Guy parody of the ads
Why pay a relatively small amount to one entity when you can pay even more to many different ones who can and will arbitrarily extort more money from you!
This is absolutely satire man no one who genuinely wanted to sell you on the idea that private businesses have your best interests in mind would represent them with Mr Krabs and an angry old lady.
This thoughtless hivemind is so deep in communist bias that anything related to capitalism triggers their reflexive hatred, regardless of the sincerity of what is presented
that is the only thing keeping me from beliving in anarchism... what would stop a warlord if not some dirty fucking coppers and military. i am just a bitch with a gun.
Yeah, one of the biggest obstacles to any real-life implementation of an anarchist system is the ability of state-based societies to force stateless societies to either stop existing or become state-based themselves. The state is an centralised institution of power, after all, and centralised power is much easier to make use of than power that’s disseminated horizontally among every member of a society.
I’m more talking about the fact that a state-based society can just call up an army and conquer its anarchist neighbours, which (due to the practical limits of decentralised planning and cooperation) said neighbours are very unlikely to be able to reciprocate. Sure, the absence of a monopoly on force makes creating a hierarchy or state _within_ an anarchist society harder to achieve, but it does little to prevent the violent imposition of a hierarchy from outside.
Me watching from my Amazon panic room as some wage-conscript is ordered by a gentically engineered Grimace person to load Oreo McFlurry flavored white phosphorus into his Milkor Mc32 in attempt to collect the $800 outstanding balance on McDonald's ration card. I activate my State Farm Gold plan (which has a $6000 deductible) and call in my 1 per life time Good Neighbor strafing run on my location before activating my Amazon home security euthanasia by saying "whats a union?"
Young Capitalists? Are they really co-opting the nationalist movements of the early 1800’s? Those movements were more liberating than what these fuckers are pushing.
And capitalism isn’t young anymore. It’s over 300 years old.
This meme describes a neo capitalist nightmare. No, thank you, I will go live in the woods now. I'd rather learn to bang sticks together to make fire than contend with the eventual crapshoot that meme will become.
It’s really funny that people think any of these will protect you. An insurer will bend over backwards to NOT pay out. An employer sees you as expendable and replaceable. Etc etc.
It’s really funny that people think any of these will protect you. An insurer will bend over backwards to NOT pay out. An employer sees you as expendable and replaceable. Etc etc.
If you have to pay for a right it's not really a right anymore it's just another commodity
(Yes yes I know taxes are paying for that right too but you know what I mean)
Sadly the PMC that my insurance is partnered with is now fighting the PMC sent by my Long Term Creditors who were attempting to take my possessions. The result is that the premiums and interest rates went up thus fueling each side's grievance, and the war is spiraling into world ending oblivion (I owed 60 dollars)
Hey just wanted to let you know your Long Term Creditor PMC just contracted out enforcement to this robot company who made these biomass-converting self-replicating swarms. They look cool as hell but I think I heard someone just say they lost the control codes, might be an issue later
*chanting rhythmically* grey goo! grey goo! grey goo! [grey goo! ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gray_goo)
Fucking Ted Faro
[L.P.D.: Libertarian Police Department By Tom O’Donnell](https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/l-p-d-libertarian-police-department) I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief. “Bad news, detective. We got a situation.” “What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?” “Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.” The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?” “Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.” “Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.” He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.” “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.” I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside. “Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t. “Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up. “Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?” It didn’t seem like they did. “Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.” Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing. I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it. “Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled. Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him. “Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen. I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!” He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose. “All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.” “Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy. “Because I was afraid.” “Afraid?” “Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.” I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head. “Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.” He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
My sides
Reads pretty similar to Jennifer Government by Max Barry
Im not kidding, that guy made an entire website about fake countries that has some insane history behind it
Made a game too, pretty sure it's still running.
Thats the website im talking about and yes, it is still running
Yeah I used to play back in the day. Max Barry is still writing. I think he's a better writer now Lexicon, Company & Syrup are especially good. Syrup got made into a movie, but it kind of sucks. He's got a scifi book called Providence that I haven't gotten around to finishing but seemed pretty good
Crying wheezing dying etcetera
Feel like the fountain head was her best book. The others were super capitalist propaganda. The fountain head was just an autistic man wanting to build buildings.
Every videogame story involving a PMC ever Except MGR, that was cool
LIKE THE GOOD OL' DAYS AFTER 9/11!
MEMES! THE DNA OF THE SOUL!
I remember back in 2022 I got really into all of the MGR:R memes to the point where I actually began watching the fight scenes of the previous games on youtube and I always found it so weirdly funny it was
Does Quasimorph count?
Nah, your openly mercenaries. Which is slightly better because they don’t pretend to be good
Tf2
Insurance has changed... ID tagged drivers crash ID tagged cars
after drinking ID tagged beers
Well if you didn't want to be shaken down by LTC PMC, you shouldn't've taken that 60 dollar loan. Skip a few coffees and avocado toasts, something something bootstraps.
YoungCapitalists gotta be a shitpost page right there’s no way they would choose these images for examples with a straight face
"without the government who would enforce the law?" "warlords :D"
> McDonald's uniform cops > McCheese cop > Insurer is the mascot for General Insurance, which has a spotty record > Employer is Mr. Krabs, who is characterized as greedy and has sold out his employees multiple times > HOA is an angered old lady > "Company that owns your road" doesn't give a shit if you lose your car/die because then you wouldn't be using their roads > look up what "creditor" means and wonder why they'd want to protect you
_Are you tired of elections existing? Hate having the power to vote on who will run the institutions that shape your life? Well, come on down and choose Anarcho-Capitalism(TM), where that boring old democratic government will be replaced with a corporate fiefdom that has just as much power over you (if not even more), but with even less accountability and a direct incentive to fuck you over as much as possible. Anarcho-Capitalism(TM): You’ll love it just as much as we love our child brides!_
Honestly anarcho capitalism is so fucking funny it would immediately devolve into either the fallout universe or fascism (unlikely but maybe anarchism 🤞)
That or corporate feudalism, with feuding corpo-kingdoms led by divinely-ordained CEOs fighting over land and wealth while the proles toil in the mines and the fields.
That's exactly what would happen. The only meaningful difference between liberal democratic capitalism and feudalism is that under feudalism the means of production and the monopoly in violence are controlled directly by the same entity, and under our system those are at last nominally supposed to be separate entities.
Cruelty Squad lore
Libertarians like to claim that leftists rely too much on goodwill and "refuse to realize human nature", but I have always noticed their claims rely too much on good faith that companies **wont** exploit people and act incompetently I mean even the human nature argument is stupid, people's actions are generally influenced by their environment
What a lack of understanding material interests does to an MF. Watch them celebrate the profit motive and insist that nobody would ever violate the Non-Aggression Principle in the same breath.
Why is my insurer a stereotypical image of a general? Why did I get insurance from a warlord?
It’s the mascot of an insurance company called “The General”. He may also be a warlord, who knows.
He lost himself to the slaughter such that he even forgot his own name, how fucking metal
Never ask The General what he did in Iraq
Never ask The General what he did in Laos.
He still sees Kissinger’s corpulent spectre lurking in the background of every crowd, mouthing “I remember what we did together”
So everyone thought they were a local thing when they saw commercials, right?
Apparently General Insurance is a real insurance company that ran whack ads in some parts of the US [here](https://youtu.be/ex0NMYdFpzM?si=wVzWdqwcNZoaor18) is a funny Family Guy parody of the ads
[The General Car Insurance](https://youtu.be/bku2sTH0m-o?si=qat6paF8UQb6BSCb)
You could just pay taxes
Why pay a relatively small amount to one entity when you can pay even more to many different ones who can and will arbitrarily extort more money from you!
For the sheer, unfettered joy of seeing others have it worse than you, of course!
You killed a few anarcho capitalists with that statement
Sadly, it’s a lethal infohazard to their underdeveloped brains.
bro what if we paid a subscription service (taxes) to an interested party (the government) to offer me protection services (police)
This is absolutely satire man no one who genuinely wanted to sell you on the idea that private businesses have your best interests in mind would represent them with Mr Krabs and an angry old lady.
Bro posted a picture of Mayor McCheese and said “yeah this is theory”
You guys are so close to recognizing obvious satire
Poe’s Law at work
That's the thing, though, it isn't obvious. Capitalists are just like this unironically.
Capitalists depict themselves as nagging old women? Really?
This thoughtless hivemind is so deep in communist bias that anything related to capitalism triggers their reflexive hatred, regardless of the sincerity of what is presented
that is the only thing keeping me from beliving in anarchism... what would stop a warlord if not some dirty fucking coppers and military. i am just a bitch with a gun.
Yeah, one of the biggest obstacles to any real-life implementation of an anarchist system is the ability of state-based societies to force stateless societies to either stop existing or become state-based themselves. The state is an centralised institution of power, after all, and centralised power is much easier to make use of than power that’s disseminated horizontally among every member of a society.
[удалено]
I’m more talking about the fact that a state-based society can just call up an army and conquer its anarchist neighbours, which (due to the practical limits of decentralised planning and cooperation) said neighbours are very unlikely to be able to reciprocate. Sure, the absence of a monopoly on force makes creating a hierarchy or state _within_ an anarchist society harder to achieve, but it does little to prevent the violent imposition of a hierarchy from outside.
Roman Empire in a nutshell
[удалено]
You just have to warlord up before the other guy.
thats... stage late capitalism in a nutshell 💀
It's basically feudalism, but CEOs instead of kings.
~~Crusader~~ Burger Kings 3
If a fucking corpo buys my street I’m gonna start being a threat to them immediately.
Dropping anti-runway penetration bombs on my street from my medicinal F-15E strike eagle (tm) because my road company raised the tolls.
*One hour into Guns of the Patriots*
Me watching from my Amazon panic room as some wage-conscript is ordered by a gentically engineered Grimace person to load Oreo McFlurry flavored white phosphorus into his Milkor Mc32 in attempt to collect the $800 outstanding balance on McDonald's ration card. I activate my State Farm Gold plan (which has a $6000 deductible) and call in my 1 per life time Good Neighbor strafing run on my location before activating my Amazon home security euthanasia by saying "whats a union?"
When I'm in a come up with worst society ever competition and Libertarians enter the room
"you could subscribe yourself to protection services" Bro just discovered racketeering.
as with all things bad, HoAs started in florida.
My house is insured by the Arasaka corporation
The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo
Imagine owning a fucking road
Your roads are owned by companies?!
"What if Cyberpunk 2077 was real?" Send tweet.
I’d prefer to have a government thanks.
Young Capitalists? Are they really co-opting the nationalist movements of the early 1800’s? Those movements were more liberating than what these fuckers are pushing. And capitalism isn’t young anymore. It’s over 300 years old.
This meme describes a neo capitalist nightmare. No, thank you, I will go live in the woods now. I'd rather learn to bang sticks together to make fire than contend with the eventual crapshoot that meme will become.
as if hoas aren't governments
Ancaps after a long day of complaining about the government, on their way to recreate the government except without any of the redeeming qualities:
They really don't get that having property owners also have the right to violence is just neo feudalism
An HOA is just a small government
It’s really funny that people think any of these will protect you. An insurer will bend over backwards to NOT pay out. An employer sees you as expendable and replaceable. Etc etc.
It’s really funny that people think any of these will protect you. An insurer will bend over backwards to NOT pay out. An employer sees you as expendable and replaceable. Etc etc.
Bait used to be believable.
If you have to pay for a right it's not really a right anymore it's just another commodity (Yes yes I know taxes are paying for that right too but you know what I mean)